There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
