I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
