Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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