Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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