I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
