thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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