I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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