hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
