somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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