I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
