my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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