I think I just saw someone hide a body.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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