I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
