I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
