Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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