I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
