I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
