He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
