Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
