That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
