Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
