Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
