we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
