I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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