Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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