I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
