We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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