Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
NoShamevember. You game?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
