I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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