Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
