is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Your dad touched me again.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
