I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
