Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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