Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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