Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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