The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
