Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
