I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Randomize
