Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
