This girl is more easily done than said...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
