talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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