About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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