I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
