to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think people are normalizing furries
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