Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
