You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
