Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
