No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
