ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
