def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
