What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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