Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
