all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
